Length = 53cm
I was around 10 when I first recalled asking mum what the date was in the back of the book. Over the years I continued to enquire about it. There would always be an answer like, ‘Oh it was a book I was given and the date was already in there,’ or the answer would change to ‘It’s just a special date, it doesn’t matter.’
I don’t know why I was so curious but I just couldn’t let it go. I just knew it had to mean something.
I was 16 or 17 years old when I had a big argument with my mother. I think I was in a rebellious stage of life, trying to find my feet in the big wide world and adjust to knowing that I would never have my father around. It was hard as a teenager, especially knowing he wouldn’t be there for the big milestones in my life. It was during this argument that I brought up the date again and in the heat of the moment, mum told me that I had a brother. Not only that I had a brother, but that he was a full brother belonging to my mother and father.
My parents stayed together and eventually had me, which seemed all the more cruel that they weren’t allowed to keep their son.
I want to know whether he had a good life, had a family, and I want to see what he looks like.
Despite the uncertainties, for myself I would like to know he is safe and well. I want to know whether he had a good life, had a family, and I want to see what he looks like. My emotions are always mixed as I worry that he may not even know about his adoption so I’m always torn about the realities of finding him but I know, just like the date in the book, I’ll never be able to let this go until I know more.