Wow, we are finally at the season finale of the Real Housewives of Potomac! This episode is titled “Altar-ed States,” and the science-fiction version displayed ways to heal the mind and body when it comes to trauma. We have RH who could benefit from this therapy, right?
We are now one day away from the vow renewal for Ray and Karen. Karen sees herself as an example for Gizelle and Robyn since she has made it 25 years. She better hope that she and Ray survive the curse since Bill Gates only made it to 27 years… just saying. Their lovely daughter Rayvin is not able to make it to the wedding since she may have kidney stones, which is unfortunate, but the Huger nuptials must go on! Karen will be given away by her son Brandon just like 25 years ago, and how sweet is that?
Ashley and Michael are meeting up with Robyn and Juan. She likes to have date nights now with Michael since their sex game is back in the saddle. Robyn thinks that Juan and Michael have a bromance. Michael gets all giddy when Juan tells him his working out makes him look good. He is probably imagining himself sucking his d*ck. Side note: Michael has been thankfully absent for a good part of this season, but it is most likely about giving him his freedom to carry on with his deception. He can keep his shady stuff off-camera this way.
Robyn wants to know when Michael is going to rejoin the group. We get treated to lots of reasons why he shouldn’t be around Candiace and Chris. Michael thinks that Chris is on Candiace’s payroll, and she is on her mom’s payroll. Hmm, that is a possibility that Dorothy is part of the funnel between Candiace and Chris.
Robyn deems Michael’s attitude as being elitist, but she is clueless on the definition of an elitist. An elitist is someone who believes in rule by an elite group. Robyn does not see anything wrong with them sticking their fingers in Dorothy’s purse. Michael is simply a pompous a*shole who has no business being married and is in no position to judge others.
Ashley asks Juan and Robyn, “When there will be another baby Dixon?” Robyn recalls how difficult it was raising the boys and Juan being absent. She and Juan both are older now, and the challenges are much harder later in life. Michael pretends that age does not make much difference. LOL, it was super funny when Robyn asked Michael if anyone asked him if he was the babies’ grandfather. Michael claims it has not happened yet — because people are just assuming it most likely.
Candiace, Chris, and Dorothy are heading to sign a deal with eOne out of Nashville. The manager says the song has been a hit. Candiace sees herself as a pro on Twitter, but we get a flashback from Andy where he tells her she is a disaster online. She is grateful that she has had the support of her mom and Chris.
Robyn and Juan are setting up her “Embellished” warehouse. She is glad that she has been able to grow into her new space and stop running her business out of her house. They then get into their scripted portion of their interaction involving bringing a new baby into this dysfunctional relationship.
Robyn wants to make sure that she will not experience what happened when the boys were born. Juan would not even change a diaper, so she wants him to commit to being more involved with another baby. He thinks he should not be held accountable for the man he was 13 years ago. Juan does not want to be portrayed on camera as a d*ckhead. He wants her to give him credit for his growth since then.
Juan is fed up with being forced to give Robyn assurances that he will be there if they have another baby. Robyn darling, if he cannot tell you that things will be different without getting defensive, then nothing will change. Juan wants to take his mic off and leave. He wants Robyn to be accountable for what she did not do. I wonder what he is referring to.
Gizelle calls Robyn and tells her about the fight she and Juan had. Robyn has finally realized that if they can’t talk that through then they won’t be able to work through their issues. Thank God that lightbulb finally lit up in her head!
We are now at the vow renewal/wedding in a strip mall. Candiace and Chris pull up, and she declares the place to be ugly. The ladies are all complaining about climbing the stairs in the venue. Candiace sees Ashley talking to Dorothy and she will not give the ogre any life. Michael is coming later, so it will be interesting to see how the true ogre can upset the apple cart.
Wendy and Eddie arrive, and he must lift her out of the car. She is laying across the backseat and cannot get out without help. Wendy is planning on just ignoring Robyn and Gizelle. She needs to worry more about the fact that she cannot sit down and her boobs are falling out of her dress.
Gizelle is sharing something about a young suitor, but she is not giving up any deets on him. In her ITM, she is being asked who her mystery man is, and she keeps rudely telling “Nora” it is none of her business. Gizelle, you chose to be on a reality show and now you have a real guy, and you do not want to mention him?
Karen is chatting with the amazing Macy Gray, who will be singing tonight. She is concerned about her dress and her long ruffled train making it up the stairs. Brandon thankfully escorts his mom upstairs. The preacher mentions how this relationship is a friendship. Gizelle, in her ITM, has a lightbulb go off, and she now understands why Karen has been sliding into others’ DMs. She is only in this relationship for friendship!
Karen and Ray have extremely sweet vows for each other. Ray has decided to choose Karen forever or however long he has got. Poor Karen should have thought out that dress a little better. She gets it snagged coming down, but she makes it. Side note: Why did she have to walk up to Ray and then back down for the party portion?
Macy Gray sings her new song, “Sugar Baby.” She still has not lost her appeal, and I still love the sound of her voice.
Michael arrives, and Ashley in her ridiculously short dress runs across the parking lot to greet him. She is glad that she can prove that he was not ghosting her all season, but he still looks like a pasty ghost. Mia and Gordon are finally glad to be able to meet the elusive one, Michael. They will soon find out that they were not missing much.
Candiace does not think that Michael is morally good enough for Ashley. Michael and Chris are at the same table and it is beyond awkward. He mentions that he and Gizelle were able to make amends because she is intelligent so that obviously is an insinuation that Chris is not. Juan decides to change seats when the conversation gets heated.
Chris tells Michael he cannot let go of what has transpired. Michael expects an apology from Chris for putting his hands on him
since he prefers Juan. Candiace finds Michael’s nasty behavior to be all about his white privilege. She thinks Michael never has to take responsibility. Candiace thinks Michael has degrading desires and storms away from the table. Chris and Michael then magically decide to forgive and forget. Gizelle tries to get Chris and Michael to hug it out, but he only has hugs for his beloved Juan.
Off to the side, Candiace and Chris are still fighting over that mother*cker, Michael. It is interesting that when you remove Candiace from the conversation how it gets resolved quickly. Juan must leave for another commitment, so Robyn is left to dance the night away alone — again.
We now thankfully get our ending notes:
Ashley is thriving in motherhood, but she is not thrilled with Michael’s idea of movie-making.
Mia and her mom continue to work on their relationship. She and Gordon are planning to move Valerie in with them.
Gizelle is no longer dating her imaginary man, but she is having a hot girl summer — whatever the hell that means! Gizelle is like a work in progress — just like her home, which will never be really done.
Wendy is still in love with her new rack and is working on her memoir? She is also considering adding extra wicks to her candles. Now that will make for a compelling storyline next season…
Candiace has released her new album to enormous success? Chris and Dorothy now barely speak after watching this season back.
Robyn and Juan still have not set a wedding date or had a baby. Michael, however, is still hoping for an invite to his bachelor party in Vegas, though.
Karen and Ray are still in the newlywed state. She will be filming another Surry tourism video — in Surry, this time.
Phew, thank goodness this season is over, and we can look forward to the reunion next week. How will Nicki Minaj be incorporated into the format? Bravo is obviously looking to spice it up and trying to revive it by adding Nicki Minaj, who is so controversial, to the reunion. Be well, everyone, and see you all next week!
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