Britney Spears is once again going after her father and former conservator, Jamie Spears, on Instagram.
The pop star took to the social media site on Tuesday afternoon to relay a long series of messages. In them, she recounted difficult alleged experiences from early in her pop music career. She also slammed her father in particular for his allegedly poor treatment of her, and his apparent pressure that led to her serious body image issues.
Across six posts in total, which were posted in reverse chronological order, the Toxic singer opened up by sharing a set of years-old pictures of herself from earlier in her music days. Reflecting on how she looked in those pictures, and linking it to her long, difficult conservatorship, Brit went IN on her dad.
She started by writing:
“I’ve always wondered how pretty people think … I used to feel pretty therefore I was CALM. CONTENT. NOT TRYING and then I felt like a hot wild mess … and I felt so alive in my wild days !!! It was hot … but then in the conservatorship, I felt absolutely nothing … I was sad, had no say in my looks in photoshoots, had to follow guidelines … no being a sassy pants and no speaking up … I will say it until the day I f**king die … my family ruined my f**king life !!!”
And she continued:
“I would go to London to promote my clothing line and my boyfriend couldn’t even come with me !!! But my mom and dad stayed in my room together when I was there in London … they treated me like a f**king dog !!! Yup and don’t get me started on that place they sent me to !!! Sorry I will never get over it !!!”
After a detour to discuss her experience as compared to Wicked, the pop princess also recalled how her dad “always told me I was fat” during her career. Explaining how she was negatively compared to her boyfriend at the time, Britney wrote:
“Anyways, the WAY THEY MADE ME FEEL … my dad always told me I was fat so l never felt pretty or good enough and I think the thing that made me feel the UGLIEST was the FEAR in being scared of what he would do I looked uneasy, unattractive, not in my skin … I never felt like I did when I was 17 and had a secret boyfriend … he was never a father to me because he was always drunk !!! The reason I’m talking about this is because I know I try to present myself as being perfect and pretty … but it’s because I know what it feels like to feel ugly and scared !!! To be told ‘THERE IS NO LOOKING AT THAT FACE OF YOURS’”
She went on to add more details about her dad’s supposed activities involving the hiring of backup dancers at her shows, too. And it’s clear the Baby One More Time singer is still really struggling with the body image issues she that were forced upon her from that awful time in her life.
“It’s a shame men care about looks … come on WE ALL KNOW IT !!! It’s the truth … but to me, I’m working on how I FEEL INSIDE !!! My posture, my body language, my BREATHING .. When it’s time to speak, when it’s time to listen and WHEN IT’s TIME TO ROAR !!! I hope one day I can find my essence of feeling beautiful … my father did an extensive job at always making me feel otherwise … HE WOULD GO LOW !!! He was the lowest … I used to only have 2 girl dancers with me in every show I did … When my dad came along, I had 8 girl dancers !!! I was always in white and they were in black … Great entertainment eye candy for all the men I dated but that’s not the LOW part !!! He told me my boyfriend’s body was perfect and I needed to work on myself because I wasn’t fit … WHAT FATHER TELLS HIS DAUGHTER THAT HER BOYFRIEND HAS A PERFECT BODY ??? And I have a lot of work to do ??? I mean yes his body was WAYYYY better than mine I knew that but I didn’t think I looked that bad !!!”
She went on to add more by concluding in a flourish:
“Always my family made me feel like I wasn’t good enough or I will just say like they are better than me!!! My boyfriend and sister going out to cute places drinking coffee when I couldn’t for two years !!! What made them so goddamn special ??? Do other people secretly like feeling better than another person … WHY ??? What goes through someone’s mind to be hateful … WHY ??? I’m mean to myself but I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings !!! Anyways of course I share this pretty picture today because I needed to see it … I’ve been scared, hurt and I have felt extremely alone !!! I saw this picture and said “WOW how did I used to THINK when I was pretty ??? Do pretty people think differently ??? How did I feel when I woke up in the morning ??? Would men respect me more if I felt pretty like that again ??? and ALSO do some men also FEED on making the person they love feel like absolutely nothing and ugly ??? Women who dream the highest will unfortunately always LEARN THE GREED AND ENVY OF MEN !!! Anyways ladies, FEEL BEAUTIFUL TODAY !!! Love you”
You can see that full series of posts, in order via screenshot, below:
In her final message, posted about an hour after that first series was published, Britney slammed her father with the most aggressive messaging of the entire day. She asked why her family treated her “less than a f**king dog” and why she was compared so negatively to her siblings — of course implying little sis Jamie Lynn Spears.
Along with posting the old pics to which she’d initially been referring, Britney wrote:
“Wonder what the SECRET IS ??? WHAT Y’ALL BE HIDING ??? Come on wise father you wanna sit me down for four months expose my body to nurses while showering me like a f**king dog !!! BULLYING ME WITH THEIR QUESTIONS … NEVER ABLE TO PUT IT ON THEM AND ASK THEM QUESTIONS !!! Come on father you wanna sit Jamie Lynn and your granddaughters Maddie and Ivy in a chair 10 hours a day having people F**K WITH THEIR HEAD … for FOUR MONTHS !!! Big security at my door … ‘no ma’am you can’t leave we don’t know when you can go.’ I DID NOTHING WRONG !!! Why did you and the family go along with it and treat me like a f**king dog ??? WHAT MAKES YOU SO GODDAMN SPECIAL ??? WHAT MAKES YOUR OTHER DAUGHTERS SO GODDAMN SPECIAL THAT YOU TREATED ME LESS THAN A F**KING DOG ??? Every morning I wake up and every night before I go to sleep I pray to fucking god you get just 5 minutes of the pain I felt in that place for 4 months !!! I pray you burn in hell you sorry son of a b**ch !!!”
Clearly, she’s going through a lot. We continue to with Britney well through this difficult time as she re-lives and tries to deal with the aftermath of the conservatorship and all its negative effects on her life.
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